did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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