he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
