I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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