You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You dont lie about slip and slides
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
