i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We had sex on a dog bed..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
