I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
