i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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