you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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