I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
