You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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