i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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