First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
