I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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