You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
