I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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