im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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