i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize