My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
