That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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