cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
