Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize