Define "chronic" masturbator.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize