i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
