sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
