whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
