I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We are all done wearing pants today
These tits shall not be calmed
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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