the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
