I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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