So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
