At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Still dying that you shit outside
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
