I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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