I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
