thus making me awesome and them whores
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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