can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
