In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
