He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Couch. On fire.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
