The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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