dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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