She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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