i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
