To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Who died my cat blue again?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
