Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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