Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
