brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
