oh god the rape fog is back!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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