Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
