But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
