Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
