ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is Oprah even human
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
