If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
