how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
