You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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