I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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