so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
