WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
