Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
