real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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