Dual....:-)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
