Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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