On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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