Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
