yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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