She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's just like the Real World with babies
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
