I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
