considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
