so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
