nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
