Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
