Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
