at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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