He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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