What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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