Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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