so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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