My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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