If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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